Awkward Experiment #3: Facebook Colonic Cleanse

•August 31, 2012 • Leave a Comment

Honestly, this isn’t about me being truly ANTI Facebook or any form social media for that matter.  I just know that at this time in my life, compulsively scrolling through pictures of “friends” who (well, according to status updates and photos anyway) are living these amazing and dynamic lives whilst I sit alone working on my 4th glass of wine is…  well… not exactly healthy.

Also, I really want to re-familiarize myself with what “friend” actually means.


  • Just deactivated my Facebook account!
  • Going “dark” for at least 3 months – might reactivate December or next year, might not!

I’m sure I’ll have a withdrawal or several as a result, but I’m already taking comfort in the fact that I will be sparing myself those lovely instances wherein I log on only to receive that rude slap-in-the-face that comes courtesy with finding out yet ANOTHER friend, frenemy or EX is engaged!  Yes, I know how small this makes me sound, I also know that a little self-protection at this time in my life is the right call.


Awkward Experiment #2: This Body of Mine

•August 30, 2012 • Leave a Comment

I want.

I am making my body my first experiment for several reasons, including but not limited to the following:

  • I have been struggling with those excess 10-15 pounds for over a decade now — in some strange way I think this equates to me giving myself the finger everyday for a very, very long time.  Great for morale!
  • In the deepest reaches of my being I KNOW that attaining the confidence I’m after requires that I make my body as healthy and strong as it can be; I know it’s supposed to be just the “inside” that counts; but this is just the way I’m wired
  • Quite often I am ensnared by a diet/fitness strategy that sounds cool.  I’ll kind of “half” follow it for a couple weeks, and when I see either zero progress or weight gain (yep, that happens to me) I end up “full” frustrated
  • Frankly, due to past failures, a part of me feels like whatever I do won’t work and I want NEED to prove that part of me wrong.  I’m ready to do what I need to do for a win here


  • I will trade my BELOVED morning energy bar (hey – I thought these were healthy!!!) for a n0n-processed meal with 30 grams of protein
  • Just signed up for pole dancing classes, I will be taking a MINIMUM of 3 classes per week — apparently this activity requires one hell of a strong core
  • I will no longer eat within 3 hours of hitting the sheets which will be a huge challenge on some evenings
  • No bread, rice, pasta, refined sugar (not going buck-wild on the fruit either)

Are there other items I can/should add to the above?  YES!  Normally, I would just keep right on listing.  Maybe that’s why I find myself where I am now, trying to tackle everything at once only to end up back at square with the only real change being the new low my spirits have sunk to.  So for now I will keep it simple and just “lean” into this one.

Tracking results:

  • I will weigh and measure myself to establish my start point on the morning of Monday, Sept. 3rd – I will post those figures
  • I will take and post weight and measures on the following four Mondays so that I will have a month of implementing the changes under my belt (which should be looser by then!)  A month should be long enough to let me know directionally how I’m doing
  • As anything significant, entertaining or especially challenging arises, I will be sure to share

My objective is for this blog and these little life experiments is that they maybe helpful or in some way useful to others beyond myself.  I welcome comments and questions if you have them.  I will always do my best to answer.

Awkward Experiment #1: Master that Pole!!!

•August 28, 2012 • 1 Comment

POLE DANCING?  Why do Such a Thing???

A couple years ago I actually bought a 5-session pass to pole dance studio and went to exactly one class.  I think I let the remaining sessions on the pass expire for a combination of two reasons: 1) the studio was pretty far away from my place and parking was a bitch and 2) I sucked, I mean, SUPER-sucked.  Or at least that was my perception, more objectively, I was extremely frustrated to be attempting something my mind reasoned I should be able to do, but my body simply could not.

So why now?  I have 3 reasons that are significant to me:

  • I’m really, REALLY sick of the gym and the ho-hum routine I do once I’m there.  I guess I’ve gotten to the point wherein I need my working out & strength training to have a purpose; I need to have a solid reason for strengthening my arms, core, etc., something that I’m building toward.  I wish I could get off on working out for working out’s sake, apparently I’m just not one of those folks!
  • It’s been a long time since I’ve set out determined to master something that I KNOW I’m going into starting at zero.  Sticking with something through the frustration and becoming competent at it would be a great “win” for my confidence.  I love that it will challenge me physically and demand that I become strong and toned.
  • The new studio I just signed up with offers many classes of the “sexy” movement variety.  I’ve NEVER felt sexy in my life — the AWKARDALIENCHICK moniker is no accident!!!  I want to feel sexy, if only my unique version of it…


  • I went BIG and signed up for a membership at a local pole & fitness dance studio
  • I am going to drag my ass to those classes until I can call myself a perfectly competent pole dancer

Tracking Progress:

  • I am keeping a journal of each class I go to and noting any little bit of new progress I see.  I’ve attended 3 classes (got the bruises to prove it!) and have indeed experienced some progress — albeit small progress
  • As an incentive to keep going and stick with it, I am going to treat myself to a tattoo I’ve been wanting once I hit 30 classes – YAY!

    I’ve been told this move isn’t even that difficult; apparently just very painful =)

My “Awkward” Experiment Format

•August 27, 2012 • Leave a Comment

I call it “awkward” because I know right off the bat I will not be following the standard “scientific method” as a means of conducting my life experiments.  I am more interested in making small (or huge!) changes to what I currently do, or did in the past, tracking progress (or lack thereof) and then evaluating results.  I anticipate that my experiments will include the follow:

  • A few words about the aspect of my life I want to develop or re-invent
  • The change or modification I will be making and how I plan to monitor or track results
  • Updates on the experiment as appropriate

In regard to the “update” portion, I plan to focus on covering the highs and lows, the items that might have inspirational and/or entertainment value.  I do NOT intend to put you to sleep with a plodding day by day account detailing the minutia of my life and activities.  This is not a journal.  I am merely a lab animal (ALIEN) here, my greatest hope is that I stumble upon some powerful tools in the process of my self-experimentation that I can share with you.

Cheers & let the Awkward Experimentation begin!!!


Time to Change EVERYTHING.

•August 26, 2012 • Leave a Comment

Here’s the thing.  I recently took an objective assessment of my life and realized the following:

  • I’ve worked like a demon for 5 yrs. and up until this point am still barely supporting myself; feeling pretty burned-out
  • The life/lifestyle I’ve created doesn’t “fit”.  As in, there’s not much about it I like and/or even identify w/.  Possessions, living situation, relationships…
  • I’m uncomfortable in most social situations.  Probably b/c I’ve lost touch w/ who I am & what I want my life to be — so I feel like a walking facade.
  • Love/dating/romantic-anthing: N/A
  • I don’t feel comfortable in my body.  In ANY way.
  • I’ve been living for others and as a result have grown angry and resentful.
  • I self medicate. Food. Vino. Facebook. Etc. Apparently I just don’t wanna feel anything anymore…

Since coming to those realizations, my mind has been to some interesting places.  Some of the initial terrain was pretty grim.  If the current state of affairs persist, I cannot honestly say I’m interested in continuing.  I say that without a trace of drama.  In my head it sounds simple and logical:  5 years of this has more than met my quota, no more thanks!

That cool thing about that thought was that it had the effect of clarifying my current options: A) I could euphemism myself, or B) I could shake things up so drastically and basically treat my life/body/business as one big science experiment.  Now THAT could be FUN!  Especially when compared w/ that first option!  So from here on out I will be modifying every aspect of my current life, adding things, subtracting things, doing things differently, and evaluating the results.

This blog will be a record of the above experiment.   I’m going to become an avid researcher in the science of getting unstuck.  I don’t know how this is going to go, what it will look like, or how successful I’ll be.  My intention is that it will work out famously and give others some ideas about how to “un-stick.”  I KNOW the feelings I’ve been having are not unique to me, but I am happy to put myself out there as a guinea pig.  My expectation is that this could get pretty messy and uncomfortable at times, but am ready to choose that over the status quo.

Thanks for reading and please visit again.