Time to Change EVERYTHING.

Here’s the thing.  I recently took an objective assessment of my life and realized the following:

  • I’ve worked like a demon for 5 yrs. and up until this point am still barely supporting myself; feeling pretty burned-out
  • The life/lifestyle I’ve created doesn’t “fit”.  As in, there’s not much about it I like and/or even identify w/.  Possessions, living situation, relationships…
  • I’m uncomfortable in most social situations.  Probably b/c I’ve lost touch w/ who I am & what I want my life to be — so I feel like a walking facade.
  • Love/dating/romantic-anthing: N/A
  • I don’t feel comfortable in my body.  In ANY way.
  • I’ve been living for others and as a result have grown angry and resentful.
  • I self medicate. Food. Vino. Facebook. Etc. Apparently I just don’t wanna feel anything anymore…

Since coming to those realizations, my mind has been to some interesting places.  Some of the initial terrain was pretty grim.  If the current state of affairs persist, I cannot honestly say I’m interested in continuing.  I say that without a trace of drama.  In my head it sounds simple and logical:  5 years of this has more than met my quota, no more thanks!

That cool thing about that thought was that it had the effect of clarifying my current options: A) I could euphemism myself, or B) I could shake things up so drastically and basically treat my life/body/business as one big science experiment.  Now THAT could be FUN!  Especially when compared w/ that first option!  So from here on out I will be modifying every aspect of my current life, adding things, subtracting things, doing things differently, and evaluating the results.

This blog will be a record of the above experiment.   I’m going to become an avid researcher in the science of getting unstuck.  I don’t know how this is going to go, what it will look like, or how successful I’ll be.  My intention is that it will work out famously and give others some ideas about how to “un-stick.”  I KNOW the feelings I’ve been having are not unique to me, but I am happy to put myself out there as a guinea pig.  My expectation is that this could get pretty messy and uncomfortable at times, but am ready to choose that over the status quo.

Thanks for reading and please visit again.


~ by awkwardalienchick on August 26, 2012.

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